What to do when you’re struggling with Negative thoughts?

Every day, we talk to ourselves. A small monologue, a silent whisper talking to you inside of your head of some sort. There is something about the way that we talk to ourselves: it says a lot about our emotional state.  I will give you an example, remember sometimes when someone is talking right In front of you but then you are thinking about something else like, “Damn this person talks too much. AGHH! I forgot to do my laundries. God, now what am I going to wear tomorrow for the meeting.” You are all freaking out in your mind but, on the outside, you act calm, keep your attentive face on check and say, “Yes, I m listening” or you would just nod your head trying to react affirmatively to whatever the person In front of you was just saying.

 I am also talking about the time when you drift off somewhere else when someone is talking to you or a group of people with you included. Did you know that it’s ok and totally normal to do that? In fact, all of us do that. The concentration we have, even for a simple conversation is getting low day by day. We could talk about that some other day. Today let’s talk about the conversation have with ourselves when no one is around: while you are all alone in your room or taking a walk on the streets alone or taking in the fresh air at dawn on your balcony alone.

There are so many things we think about when we are alone. We think about the things we should have done at some point of our lives. We think about how we should have reacted when someone offended us. We think about what we could be if we worked hard or what would happen if we were a billionaire or we would imagine ourselves with a crush, like we’re living somewhere, in a fantasy world.

But those aren’t the only things that you think about. There are some other whispers in your head as well. Sadly, but truly, some of the voices make you want to cry. Your voices would say things like, ‘You are so ugly, nobody will ever like you’ or things like,

 ‘You’re so worthless, you could not even do something that simple. Why are you like this?’

‘What is wrong with me? Why would I even do that?’

‘All I do is hurt people; I am no good! I hate myself!”

‘Everyone hates me. Nobody needs me. They are better off without me.’

All of us think of these kinds of stuff from time to time. Sometimes, especially on those bad days, these whispers magnify and you end up crying. Sometimes it reaches far; to the point that you blame yourself for something that you aren’t even responsible for. You end up believing in your ridiculous assumptions about yourself and end up hurting yourself more.  My friends, that is a bad habit. These thoughts don’t serve you rather than just ruining your mental health.  Blaming yourself will only hurt your self-confidence. You are just underestimating yourself; undermining your abilities. If you want to stop talking to yourself so negatively, I have a solution for that. You might wonder,” how would you know?”. My answer is; from experience.

Here is what I do when I have one of those days when I hate myself. I do not participate on the monologue inside my head; especially when I know it’s not serving to my wellness and goodwill. Instead, I talk to someone who is really close to me. Someone who I know loves me for who I am, someone who would love to remind me of my worth. That person could be your mother or father, your sibling, a close friend or most of the times, your lover. Talk to them about how you are feeling about yourself, things that your pessimist mind whispers to you. Talk to them about your emotional state. It is better to have someone rather than having no one on your side during an emotional war. Your loved ones will tell you how important you are to them and they will help you remind yourself of your worth.

Next time, when your mind whispers BS, take a long breathe and without a second thought, talk to your loved ones. Remember that your brain lies to you sometimes but someone who is truly close to you won’t ever.

Sarah Tiwari