You are responsible for your own happiness

Who exactly decides whether you are happy or not? The answer is- you do. Your happiness depends on your mood and your vibe. You are the one who is responsible for structuring your own state of mind bubble. When everyone wakes up in the morning, everyone has two choices- either to be happy or to be unhappy and in my opinion, when we have a choice to feel better about ourselves, we should just choose to do so. This might seem like an over-simplifaction of a complex emotion or state of mind, but this is the only mantra that has helped me chose happiness for myself, even in times of distress.

But here we are, in search of happiness our whole lives; too afraid to be happy, too busy to be happy, being careless about our own choices, ignoring the elements that would help us choose happiness, avoiding our hobbies and interests that can potentially make us happy. We never seem to have a plan of stopping ourselves from repeating our mistakes. I remember this one time when me and a group of friends were having a great time, one of my friends was laughing around with her friends one moment but the next moment, she stopped expressing herself suddenly. I asked her if something was wrong to which she replied, “I am having such a good day, I just don’t want to jinx it by laughing all day”. That moment struck me, we are always in the hunt for happiness but we let our fear overpower those happy moments.

It is really easy to be frowning and complaining all the time, everyone can do that. We see thousands of people going about their life choices to avoid happiness all the time. It is one of the easiest things to do; to do nothing that makes you proud of the choices you make in your everyday life. Unhappiness has thus become the most common state of mind. We have no issue in going around telling ourselves that things aren’t going our way and apparently feeling like that is the norm. Eventually, it becomes a way of life and everything around you drives you to the thought of giving up. You worry about the tiniest details that you have no control over, you screw your own satisfaction up. About an equal effort or even less is required to choose satisfaction and ultimately, happiness. You just need to take a break sometimes, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “Things are going good for me, life has been treating me fair, I have a choice and every day, I choose happiness,” and you can then slowly train yourself to choose happiness whenever you can.

Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of people going to peaceful places such as monasteries or retreats in search of inner peace and happiness. Many of us still don’t realize that we manufacture our own happiness. Of course, not all unhappiness is self-created. But you can learn to worry less about the situations that are not in your hands. It is a fact that to a large extent by our thoughts and attitudes we distill out of the ingredients of life either happiness or unhappiness for ourselves.

I believe the secret of our happiness is within ourselves, it’s just that we need to dig deep enough and bring it to the surface. Once you learn how to train your mind to choose happiness, peace, and satisfaction, your worries lessen with each passing day. You will learn to be present at the moment and make better choices for yourself and that, in my opinion, is the ultimate happiness.

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